Kuching

Its now been almost 3 weeks since I have returned from Kuching, to rush to my grandmother's bedside and her subsequent funeral. Most of the time I had a strange feeling - like I belonged (I did grow up and live there for almost 18 years), and yet like I didn't belong. I have been away for a long time, and since then (despite sporadic visits back) there have been lots of changes - new roads, new buildings. Enough to make it quite disorienting. I had a sense of nostalgia there. Most of the places I wanted to eat at were places that I remember from my childhood, or shops that I frequented before I left. Maybe the nostalgia was due to the fact that I realised that I wasn't sure when I would ever return. Because of that, one afternoon I decided to walk around town taking some photos of which to remember it by (photo: looking down the river to the city centre).

My grandmother was the last real link to my hometown. My family lives here in NZ, and frankly, there is no one that I am really close to, that I would want to visit. I have some relatives, but none of which I would want to make the time and effort to go and visit. Anyway, they can come over to visit. Relationships with most of my friends have changed. Actually, I would much rather spend the money visiting new places and explanding my horizons. I wonder if Kuching has now become a place of memories and sentimental value.

Although at times, I feel like I don't know where I belong, I guess I feel an affinity towards New Zealand. While I was in Kuching, I was longing to hear about how things were back here. At that time the tri-nations were on, so I wanted to be updated with rugby results! And also, to find out if England was beating Aussie in the Ashes! I guess those are sure signs of where I have now planted roots.