What is church?

Don't worry. Not a lengthy discourse. Last Sunday (err... make that 2 Sundays ago). We had a combined church service with the Chinese Methodist Church (who use our building for their services on Sunday afternoons.) However, due to the International Women's Bike race that took place in Wellington (and caused the closure of inner city streets), the service had to take place on Sunday evening instead.

As part of the service, each church talk about what they were about. Can't remember much, but the CMC said one of their goals was to win people to Christ. Not a bad goal - being a church. But, one of pastors who spoke on behalf of Central summed Central as being inclusive, showing compassion and creating community. Well, they certainly have shown that to accept a cynical, questionning, non-institutional-conforming person like me *phew*.

Sin

Such a loaded word. A word I struggle to explain what it means because it seems so damning. I guess it is. At our last young adult SE group, we discussed sin. Someone brought up a point from a book they had read: sin is when we do not know our true selves (apologies for my bad verbatim quote).

I like that concept. It is more freeing and yet more challenging at the same time. Sometimes talking about sin can end up in guilt bashing, or it may seem that there is no ounce of good or nobility. It can be a very depressing topic when talking about doing wrong, being rebellious and all that. It’s all very negative wording. I’m not trying to make sin sound nice – it isn’t nice. But sin as a concept of a state of being when we do not know our true selves seems a lot less condemning.

If we are made in the image of God, then our true selves is one that is good. When we know our true self, that can be one way for us to connect to God. For example, in the garden of Eden Adam and Eve only started to cover themselves up after eating the fruit. That was where they starting hiding parts of who they are. And this is why we don’t know our true selves. We put on layers and masks, because we learn very early on from our environment (family, peers, society) that certain ways of thinking, certain ways of behaving, certain ways of expressing ourselves etc. are more acceptable than others. Thus we start to put on layers to cover up who we truly are (and cover up our true selves).

How does Christ fit into this? Christ offers grace. Grace frees us to start peeling off the layers because we are accepted for who we truly are. The work of Christ on the cross conveys unconditional love, so I am free to be me – that surely is life in abundance.

"The first step toward finding God, Who is Truth, is to discover the truth about myself: and if I have been in error, this first step to truth is the discovery of my error." Thomas Merton

Being lovable

Decided to introduce myself to Father Kev (Catholic chaplain at uni) today. I’ve been involved with group at university for 18 months now, but until now hadn’t introduced myself to this cool, jazz piano playing chaplain. Anyway, I digress… We sat down for a random chat and he proceeded to tell me theological stuff he’s been mulling over. He’s been thinking through some concepts of the trinity. He was talking about how the trinity is in a loving relationship with each other. Each is perfectly loving, and each is perfectly lovable.

That just kinda made me think for a moment. We can love God because God is a lovable being – God can receive our love. i.e. God is not just loved just because of who he is, but because part of the character of God is he is lovable. For me, I have always understood the whole ‘we love God’ concept as us giving love, but not really seen it as God being a lovable being. I find it easier to see humans as lovable creatures because we are more ‘needy’ and the fact that God loves us. But we are lovable, because God also is lovable and we are made in the image of God. And if love is not boastful or proud, than Love is capable of receiving love.

This sense of being lovable is central to our well-being. In a state of unhealthiness, people think they are unlovable. The perception of being unlovable destroys all aspects of a person’s being (e.g. last week at university there was a real tragedy – a student fell 6 floors in a suspected suicide). A healthy person understands that he or she is lovable and accepts love. And what better love to accept than a perfect love offered only by God.

More thoughts on prayer

Been thinking more about the whole prayer thing. The good news is I don’t totally not believe in it. I think I have problems with certain types of prayer. At the moment, I can cope with a more generalised prayer. Its kinda specific prayer that I find hard. Its really hard to explain. For example, I guess I would have problems if someone prayed that God would heal my arm (which still in a cast). Maybe because I am sceptical. And maybe because I equate that with some kind of immediate result. On the other hand, if they prayed that my bone would heal well, I might find that easier to take (not that the prayer is directed to me anyway).

Being in christian ministry, I end up going to many meetings. It seems customary to end Christian meetings (the committee/planning kind) with prayer. I am uncomfortable with that because it almost seems like a shopping list prayer, as you pray about what you talked about. It seems too much like a habitual Christian way to end a meeting. At the moment, I feel more able to start with a prayer cos at the start you’re feeling a bit more vulnerable than at the end, when all decisions have been made.

Maybe what I struggle with is what we have made of prayer. The whole ‘ask-and-it-shall-be-given-shopping-trolley’ type prayer. Maybe I struggle with that because I don’t have enough faith. Or am too sceptical. But prayer with a sense of our helplessness, a prayer to someone who is bigger and more able. And I guess as Stu has mentioned, prayer as a foolishly faithful act – in our vulnerability, abandoning ourselves to God. That kind of prayer I find strangely comforting. Maybe it is a product of foolish faith.

Check this out!

A site in progress, but it is up! The Spirited Exchanges website is online. What is SE anyway? SE has been my faith community. It provides support for those like me who are straggling on the borders of faith. Provides a safe place for me to ask questions and cope with my angst about Christian stuff. And yet allows me to explore the depths of a faith in God.

So, yeah. Go check it out! www.spiritedexchanges.org.nz

Major OUCH!

It’s been more than a week since I broke the bone in the joint of my elbow. So I have been learning to cope with the limitations that come with having my left arm in a cast and a sling:
1. only using one hand to type – makes what is already a slow process even slower.
2. can’t drive cos my elbow is bent at about a 100° angle to help it heal at a proper angle.
3. trouble opening tight jar or bottle covers
4. can't spread my toast if the table to too high
5. can't do any cutting/chopping in prep for cooking
6. no able to take photos on my SLR (like I was supposed to do for my friend’s wedding in the weekend!)
7. basically, most things that require the use of 2 hands simultaneously.

I can’t straighten the fingers on my left hand cos those muscles are attached to the elbow so it makes it painful. And because the cast on my elbow is big and juts out somewhat, I keep banging it into door frames, or doors or chairs etc. though thankfully slight bumps so I haven’t done myself further damage (yet!).

Thank goodness for Tramol (strong painkiller)! Definitely couldn't have done without it so far!

OK. Enough one-handed typing for the day…